8 Sex Hang-Ups That Are Hurting Your Mojo

1) You Need the Lights On Nothing kills the mood quite like feeling like you’re getting intimate on a movie set. Don’t be afraid of the dark! It’s okay to have sex with the lights on from time to time, but if it has become a bad habit in the bedroom, It’s time to make a change. We suggest trying a candlelit setting instead. It’s the perfect compromise! 2) You Don’t Want to Mess Up Your Hair We get it – it’s not easy for Black women to maintain their hair. Whether you’re a naturalista or not, achieving the perfect style takes time, money and maintenance. And, a good romp in the sack can ruin your ‘do almost instantly. That said, have you found a compromise you can handle? Turning down intimacy in favor of beauty will get old with your partner rather quickly. Work together to find a way to have fun that won’t send you running back to the salon the next minute! 3) You Don’t Feel Sexy Here’s the scenario: He’s in the mood for love, but no matter how hard you try, you just don’t feel the same. While he’s thinking about how great it feels to be in your arms, you’re busy mentally obsessing over things like unwanted fatty belly, how your hair or make-up looks and if there’s still the stench of garlic or fish on your breath. Put simply, you just don’t feel sexy. Enough of that! It’s time to love yourself, on your good and bad days, and to stop overthinking things. That’s all small stuff, and if he’s right there with you, it’s because he wants to be. And, that should make you feel sexier than ever. 4) You Have a Shower First Rule Everyone likes to feel their freshest before sex; that’s understandable. But realistically speaking, that can’t always happen. Insisting on it could mean you’re interrupting the “vibe” before it has even begun. My advice: Dump those insecurities fast and just go with the flow. 5) You Haven’t Told Him What You Want You can’t expect a man to meet your needs if you haven’t put them on the table. Sex won’t be mind blowing until you give your partner a roadmap to your joy. Speak up, lady! 6) You Keep Putting It Off When life gets busy, it’s easy to think of a million and one reasons you don’t have time for sex: You have a headache; You’re tired; There’s too much to do. The list just goes on and on. The only way to stop this cycle is to make “making love” a priority, now! 7) You Need Validation For some women, it’s not enough to just be good at sex. They need to be told they’re awesome too. Are you guilty of craving constant compliments from your partner when you’re together between the sheets? There’s nothing wrong with wanting praise, but remember that demanding it every time you’re intimate with your lover could spoil the mood. Just think about it: How would you feel if the tables were turned? Be secure in your abilities and just relax and enjoy the moment. You Have the Giggles Laughing your way through sex can only mean one thing: You’re feeling insecure, and that’s how you feel you can lighten the mood. Getting intimate is meant to be a good time, for sure, but it’s not something your partner should feel like you don’t take seriously. Address your insecurities head on before the clothes come off, so you can focus when it’s time to hit the sack.